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Self Help

by Tal Katsir

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1.
Potential 07:55
There is something I see, I see it so clearly Because I don’t use my eyes to see it, I see it With my breath I see it, with the soles of my feet I see it with my blood, I see it with my heart beat There is something about this world which drowns my spirit With endless joy What is it that I see? I think I see Potential For everlasting truth. There is something I see, I see it so clearly Because I don’t use my eyes to see it, I see it With my breath I see it, with the soles of my feet I see it with my blood What is it that I see? I feel I received a present An angel’s kiss I know what did he give me He gave me another world where I can exist. I think I see Potential...
2.
There is no reason to be afraid One should not be afraid of change Changing oneself, changing what you do, how you do, what you regard yourself as. One should not be afraid to leave old ways behind So to make it possible for new ones to be learnt. But one should also not forget what were the real motives for life so far in order not to lose the foundation of self earned with Pain, Love and Time. There is nothing better than being alive, as far as we know. All actions therefore ought to be a continuation of The curiosity, sense of thrill and freedom Naturally provoked by existing.
3.
So Soon 04:56
It’s all gonna be over so soon So there is nothing really to be sad about I know it in my head but I can’t feel it in my heart Yes I know, I just need to cheer up. An argument is right just because it sounds so So I’m convinced So tell me why I can’t convince myself To believe in whatever I please? And when I know Something I can feel it in my fingernails This is how I know I’m right And by right I mean knowing I’m on the right track To appreciate a little more my life. The Answer is the balance between freedom and knowledge. How can I be so ungrateful? How do I dare being sad? How could I give up on me just like that? And say nothing really matters if it has an end? And when I know Something I can feel it in my fingernails This is how I know I’m right And by right I mean knowing I’m on the right track To appreciate a little more my life.
4.
Now I wonder how I’ll feel to be just me at last Without the hopes to one day have another person’s life. To know I deserve to live without being great. To know I have so much love to give and believe I’ll get some back. When you are interested in something outside of yourself, regardless of yourself, which primarily had nothing to do with yourself - This is when you are interested in life. And when you are interested in life, you can be yourself.
5.
The Key 04:54
There is a key to the treasure, to where your own god is To where the sacred lava boils, to where heaven is To where your creation starts and never ends To where all judgement collapses into itself To where past, future, present live as one To where the mind becomes the heart To where feedon rules them all, to where all is possible To where you have no solution but one To where all is, to where you are To where all is, to where you are I found it I found it I found it. There is a key to the treasure - Soon it will disappear.
6.
Free 03:18
I thought by being good I’ll ensure being free But true freedom can only come from love For so long I’ve been trying to be as good as I could. To be excellent. I was blurring my flaws, hiding my fears All I ever wanted was to be good and therefore free from other people’s judgment, their help and my dependency. But as I was going I learned to realize That my way of thinking can only emphasize How desperate I am to allow another’s help How freedom is about letting love to navigate. How can I inspire you? It’s my new way to find myself.
7.
Why is it never quiet outside and within Why don’t you ever look me in the eye Before making love to me Why don’t I have an answer to where exactly I should go Why do I feel sometimes that nobody loves me When I know it isn’t so I don’t know why, I don’t know I don’t know why, I don’t know Why do I feel such pity towards others and towards myself Is the guilt that I’m feeling is because of my mother Or there is something just not right in my head Why am I never tired and never entirely awake Why do I smile even when I don’t want to Why don’t you help me if you can I don’t know why, I don’t know I don’t know why, I don’t know Now when the time has come The evening glows The whisper of the wind I don’t ask myself anymore…. Why is it never quiet.
8.
Believer 02:43
I was a believer for far too long. And I’m ready now to be able to stop. I don’t need to believe any more, because all that I want - I myself can do. I can create my reality and I don’t mind to fail, I’m ready to put my wounded heart aside to go out to sea and sail. Believing is putting the responsibility on someone, something else. Get up! do it, do it yourself. The fact that we are not sure we will succeed Doesn’t mean I need to shake off my responsibility To shape my own future, to create my own path, No one helps you because no one knows how, So get up! you think too much and do too little, Leave the cowered behind get up It’s in your hands now. Yes I was a believer for far too long, for far too long I shall stop now being a believer, and start to live my life, Nothing is too hard but waiting for a miracle which never comes.
9.
Signifier 07:12
When I say love I don’t say what you think I say. I say that I want to live so so bad. When I say breath you don’t get what I mean. When I say connect you don’t get what it takes and it burns so bad. And it is the best feeling this kind of burn I’m burning from the inside and so I shine. I bring my light. What signifies me is Love What turns me into being me is Love What grants me my identity is nothing but Love. Do you even know what Love is? I didn’t know for so many years That what signifies me is Love. And not where I come from, not what I wear Not what I know, not what I have It doesn’t matter where I was born The sound of the prayer doesn’t matter to a person who has learnt The power of Love… Love is the only safety Love is my protection Love is the only thing that lasts long enough For you to realise That all that’s good forever comes from love That all that’s good forever comes from love. When I started the journey I thought I will find true love, only to discover that true love can not be found. It can only be exercised. My journey is the exercise of true love.
10.
Doubt 02:21
Yesterday I doubted the value of my work I thought it might be pointless, it might be silly, I forgot I’m protected by love I doubted the value of myself, I doubted my ability To do something really good I even doubted whether my love is real Whether it’s an ego trip which will go away I must not forget that love is simple and love is honest So you can allow things to be silly to be pointless To be not so good at all Because when you're protected by love All will shine and fall into place All will be light, all will make sense Be strong don’t give up on love Love is so much more than what you think It’s so much broader So much more versatile Please don’t give up on love Please don’t give up on love.
11.
I once was a little girl. I was me and I was happy. I loved to eat and I always wanted to win. I had this energy in my thighs and a big big smile on my face. It was up until I was five that I was me and happy and then it changed. People hurt my feelings, young and old, I grew sensitive, I developed doubt I became aware of who and how I was. And I didn’t like it because other people used it to cause me pain. I lived in my future and I constantly wanted to change. And the scars grew deeper and brighter with time and with them I grew tired because I was busy hiding me because the true me caused me pain. I hid her, I was ashamed and I grew tired by the day. All I had was funny voices in my head saying thoughts which are not mine, fears I did not have. But all along I was waiting. I was waiting for the future to come. I was looking forward to being different, to make some dreams come, true, to be safe and to never allow myself to get hurt again. And even though I grew tired the spark was not yet gone, and somehow I found courage to keep it breathing to keep my hope. The hope I was born with, the second nature type, the self sustained one, the hope which is in itself is truth, which in itself is life. And one day without a warning she just came back. She didn’t announce it, didn’t make a fuss, like she used to be, she was there once again at last. And I don’t know what will happen now, and I know the scars are forever there, but it feels so much better now, to have her. To have her back.
12.
Mirror 04:59
And then I looked in the mirror and I couldn’t recognize myself And I couldn’t recognize all the things I had around me They so easily could have been somebody else’s And then I understood something, a real important thing I understood that all this stuff around Isn’t really me And by stuff I’m also saying my skin, my hair, my body My hormones and my brain All these are just around me And perhaps it sounds cliche But no emotion is So trust me when I’m saying all these things don’t mean a thing And then I realised that all these are here for me For me so I could use them I’m the owner, I should lead! My thighs are here to jump My mouth is here to shout My eyes are here to cry with joy My heart is here to love At last no one controls me, at last I’m truly free Cause now I know nothing defines me but the fact that I exist. Perhaps it sounds cliche But no emotion is So trust me when I’m saying you're nothing but your life so make the best of it I’m free at last, I’m free at last, I’m free At last I’m free I know it sounds cliche But feelings can not be Because an experience is the most original act of living Doesn’t matter how many times it happened to others before Live for yourself and everybody will follow Live for yourself, set yourself free Live for yourself and therefore be loving be kind Be the child that you used to be Be brave, be truth, we can all be free Be brave, be truth, we can all be free
13.
Emotion 02:59
Emotion is neutral. Adjectives are placements of judgment. Life is neutral. It has no agenda. We decide on our agenda, and how will we use what is given to us. Better: Because this is how I become a better person, you see. R.W: A smart person is not the one who can analyze reality But the one who can analyze himself to the point where reality can be created. Debt: I need to embody my deepest self. Also my deepest fears. Also my deepest limitations. This is the only way I’m going to connect. To connect to you, to connect to MySelf. This is the only way to create, to let go of your narrow minded, limited, little thinking head. Stop being in debt to who you are. Stop being in debt to who you are. Past: Now is the time to justify your past. Now is time to justify everything bad that happened, every sad memory now is time to justify them all. Cause they all led you right here to this point so now it’s time - to justify your past. Shape: Look at yourself from the outside. Imagine the shape of you doing what you want to do. Look at yourself from the outside. This assumes epic proportions. Suspended in Between the Elements.

about

SELF HELP is a concept album which has been sung, played and recorded simultaneously in one take. The text is an intimate document, segments from my diaries in a chronological order, describing how I cope with the fear of change, my self doubts and my wish to be loved.
The thirteen songs of the the album are written as a story which unwinds the cognitive development of the speaker, a kind of initiation ceremony. The autobiographical drama describes the struggle of the speaker to break the cold walls of her childish consciousness on the path towards passion, freedom of expression and action.
My hope is that Self Help will convey the message and therapy that nothing will stand in the way of those who found Will and Love.

credits

released July 7, 2018

Music & Lyrics: Tal Katsir
Mix: Nir Averbuch
Mastering: Norman Nitzsche at Calyx Mastering Berlin

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about

Tal Katsir

I'm Tal, a singer, pianist and song writer. I studied music at Oxford University, and performed throughout Europe, Israel and the U.S.
I founded the ensemble Occitania that rearranged medieval troubadour songs and earlier this year I wrote 'Self Help', my debut solo concept album.
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